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<title>"You're insufferable." by InTooManyFandomsRay</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30142371">"You're insufferable."</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTooManyFandomsRay/pseuds/InTooManyFandomsRay'>InTooManyFandomsRay</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>30 DAYS DIALOGUE PROMPTS [28]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Attempt at Humor, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Banter, Court Sorcerer Merlin (Merlin), Crack, Dragonlord Merlin (Merlin), Established Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Idiots in Love, In Love, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), M/M, Marriage Proposal, Merlin is a Little Shit, Merlin is a Little Shit (Merlin), The Author Regrets Nothing, This Is STUPID, mentions of aithusa, merthur banter, they're idiots, what is merthur without banter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:56:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30142371</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTooManyFandomsRay/pseuds/InTooManyFandomsRay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Arthur were in a steady standoff. It began when Merlin asked Arthur to take Aithusa with him to his council meeting, and Arthur declined in his prattish way. One thing led to another and now both of them were on opposite sides of the table, shooting daggers at each other through their eyes. If looks could kill, both would be dead, and we would be spared the sexual tension in the room. Unfortunately, or fortunately for us, looks can’t kill, and hence, the standoff.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merlin &amp; Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>30 DAYS DIALOGUE PROMPTS [28]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129253</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>172</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>"You're insufferable."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Merlin and Arthur were in a steady standoff. It began when Merlin asked Arthur to take Aithusa with him to his council meeting, and Arthur declined in his prattish way. One thing led to another and now both of them were on opposite sides of the table, shooting daggers at each other through their eyes. If looks could kill, both would be dead, and we would be spared the sexual tension in the room. Unfortunately, or fortunately for us, looks can’t kill, and hence, the standoff.</p>
<p>Arthur decided to break it by throwing something at Merlin. That something happened to be a goblet. Merlin quickly dodged it, as it banged against the wall with a loud clang, followed by further clanging from hitting the floor. They did not break eye contact during this activity, and we can see the tension rising. Arthur picked up another gold-plated goblet, and Merlin raised his eyebrow in exasperation. Surely the King was not that immature to repeat his previous action.</p>
<p>He was wrong. Turns out, Arthur <em>was</em> immature in that context.</p>
<p>“Why are you so difficult?” Merlin ducked under the table as another goblet sailed over his head. Arthur glared at him from across the table and threw the next thing he grabbed at Merlin’s face, which happened to be a grape.</p>
<p>Merlin dodged the obstacle again before picking up the slightly squashed and gooey grape and throwing it right back at Arthur. It struck him square on the nose, splattering on impact, and he yelled, “Merlin!”</p>
<p>“Stop behaving like a child!” The warlock yelled back. Arthur walked across the table, a spoon clutched in his hand. Merlin tripped over his feet as he moved the other way, trying to get away, but quickly recovered. He grabbed another spoon off the plate and held it up against Arthur. Arthur tried to attack him with his ‘weapon’, which Merlin countered skilfully. The metals clashed in harmony, screeching on contact.</p>
<p>Arthur waved the spoon in his hand in Merlin’s face. “I <em>will</em> put you in the stocks, <em>Mer</em>lin. So don’t test me.” Merlin smacked his spoon with his own. “You haven’t put me in the stocks in years, so I don’t think so.”</p>
<p>“You’re insufferable,” Arthur said dryly, attempting to get a hit on Merlin, who danced out his way. Somehow, this ended up turning into a weird mating stylish dance across Arthur’s chambers, the scowls on either face being replaced by smirks and smiles. Arthur backed Merlin against the wardrobe, and the smirk was dropped from Merlin’s face, who seemed to remember that they were fighting.</p>
<p>He pushed Arthur away with all his force, who tumbled back with his arms flailing. The spoon in his hand got caught in the bed hanging, causing him to stumble and trip and land on his backside. Merlin gasped, and his hand shot up to cover his mouth. He giggled into his palm as Arthur sat dazed on the floor for a solid minute before glaring at him and standing up.</p>
<p>Merlin tried to run towards the door but was pushed down by Arthur. “Wha-Arthur!”</p>
<p>Arthur towered over him, face pulled in a victory smirk. Seeing that the king was distracted, Merlin used it to his advantage and hooked his ankle around Arthur’s and pulling, bringing him down again. He fell with a thwap. They scrambled back to their feet, and before Merlin could run away, Arthur smacked the back of his head.</p>
<p>What followed was Merlin hitting him back, and so the fight continued, with petty hand flapping and pulling and pushing. At one point, they were pulling at each other’s hairs.</p>
<p>The guards stationed outside exchanged tired looks. They wondered how long they would have to endure the juvenile behavior of their king and his sorcerer. One of them shook his head wearily and motioned to the other one. They walked away, praying that the flirting would subside by the time they returned.</p>
<p>Inside the king’s chambers, Merlin managed to push Arthur out of his way and run across the room, only to get tackled by him and thrown on the bed. His voice was muffled by the bed as he squawked indignantly, “Get off, you fat ass!”</p>
<p>Arthur settled himself by sitting on Merlin’s back. “What did you say, <em>Mer</em>lin? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of my victory.”</p>
<p>Merlin lifted his head from the bed, and muttered a spell, throwing Arthur off him. Arthur fell to the floor in an undignified heap again. He was falling a lot today, as we see. He does keep falling for Merlin. The warlock flipped over and sat upon the bed, smirking as he watched Arthur struggle to get up.</p>
<p>“You cheated!” Arthur accused, pointing a finger in his face. Merlin slapped it away. “I did no such thing. You’re just too clumsy.”</p>
<p>“I’m not the one tripping over the air, <em>Mer</em>lin.”</p>
<p>Merlin raised his eyebrow at that. “Are you sure? You pretty much flew away right now. Which should be impossible considering how… healthy you are.”</p>
<p>Arthur glowered at him, red from the exertion. “I am <em>not</em> fat!” Merlin chuckled.</p>
<p>“Of course not. You’re a knight.”</p>
<p>Arthur’s puffed his chest up at the response. “And what is that supposed to mean?”</p>
<p>“See?” Merlin waved his hand at him. “A knight! Too thick to know what I’m saying.” Arthur took a predatory step ahead, and Merlin leaned back in the bed.</p>
<p>“Oh you think you’re so clever, don’t you?”</p>
<p>“I don’t <em>think</em> I’m clever,” Merlin snapped. “I <em>am</em> clever.”</p>
<p> Arthur glared at him some more. “You know what, <em>Mer</em>lin? Since we’re just getting everything out in the open, let me just ask one thing from you, yes?”</p>
<p>Merlin’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Go on.”</p>
<p>“Marry me?” Arthur got down on one knee with his hand stretched towards him.</p>
<p>“Yes-Wait, what?!” Merlin choked on his spit, turning red. “Did you just propose to me in the middle of a fight?!”</p>
<p>“What about it?”</p>
<p>It was Merlin’s turn to smack him on the head, before grabbing his hand. “You complete peanut!” He got to his feet, creeping closer to Arthur. Arthur grinned and pulled him. With a yelp, Merlin was jerked into Arthur’s arms, who wrapped his hand around Merlin’s waist tightly. “So that’s a yes then?”</p>
<p>Merlin scowled at him and rolled his eyes, putting his arms around Arthur’s neck. “Of course it’s a yes. Now shut up and kiss me.”</p>
<p>“Your wish is my command,” Arthur said as he leaned down and kissed the man he loved gently. The moment broke when Merlin pulled away with a manic grin. “My wish is your command, yes?”</p>
<p>“Obviously, did you go deaf or something?”</p>
<p>Merlin shook his head and untangled himself from Arthur’s arms. He stepped towards the door, and said with the same smile on his face, “Then I guess you’re taking Aithusa with you to your meeting today after all.”</p>
<p>“Merlin!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>More rant? More rant.<br/>I just wanted some Merthur banter, even tho I'm no good at it. Hope you enjoy it! xx</p></blockquote></div></div>
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